Oh, Baby

When you announce that you’re expecting a baby, your family and friends shower you with hugs, congratulations, and gifts. When the baby comes, you wish they’d showered you with facts.

Yes, your new baby can make your heart sing. But it doesn’t take long before you learn that she also keeps you up all night, spits up on you, and cries inconsolably no matter what you do. Plus, her little body alone doesn’t account for the dozens of extra pounds you gained—so you’re stuck whittling it off yourself. (That means you too, Dad—up to 65 percent of all fathers experience pregnancy symptoms, including weight gain). The kicker: The insidious little bugger eats up all your waking (and sleeping) hours, so it’s hard to find time to lose that weight or stay fit like you used to.

“A lot of first-time moms and dads dive into parenthood expecting an idyllic situation,” says Diane Petersen, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at St. Louis University in Missouri. What they find is...reality. Look, you may never really get your old life back (welcome to parenthood). But here’s how to take the first steps as you come back from that shock, and begin forging a new life you like even more.

Oh, the guilt. You have a choice: (1) Allow your new situation to subsume you. You can start focusing on yourself again when the kid’s in kindergarten (or college). Or: (2) Try a better way. Somehow, spend at least 2 hours of every week on your personal needs. Time for romance. Sweat. Your friends at the gym. Guilt is the major obstacle, but ignore it for those 2 hours. In time, you can add hours, and your child will appreciate having a vibrant, healthy, interesting parent.

No sleep. None. Nada. It takes about 3 months before most babies regularly sleep for 6 hours at a stretch. Expect to feel bone-tired most of the time, which will affect “your ability to perform, to concentrate, to converse, even to be happy in literally every aspect of your life,” says Peterson. Both parents will do better if you share the pain. “After baby hits the 2-week mark, allow dad to substitute a bottle feeding for a breastfeeding,” says Peterson. Try alternating night feeding duty—even if you’re up for 24 hours, you know you’ll have a full night’s sleep the next day.

Walk that kid. Studies show that a lactating woman can lose around 1.3 to 1.6 pounds a month, even if she’s not counting calories. But there’s a wide variation in such weight loss. One solution: taking long walks with baby. Exercise will help you (and baby) sleep, elevate your mood, and whittle off pounds when paired with a healthy diet.

Body After Baby
Three moves tailor-made for new moms.

One 8-pound baby plus a 15-pound car seat equals a heavy (if adorable) load—and a ready-made upper-body strength-training routine for new moms. To tone abs weakened by pregnancy, however, you need to target them specifically. “The core exercises I teach new mothers are very subtle but effective—similar to Pilates,” says Debi Hilton, a trainer at the Ocean Avenue 24 Hour Fitness in San Francisco. Add these three moves to your day to build ab strength and bolster your lower back (often strained during pregnancy). 

Pelvic Tilts
Lie on your back with your knees bent, your feet flat on the floor, and your arms at your sides. Simultaneously tighten your buttocks and abs, and press your lower back into the floor, tilting your pelvis upward. Hold for 3 to 10 counts, then release. Repeat 10 times.

Abdominal Hallowing
Lie on your back with your knees bent, your feet flat on the floor, and your arms at your sides. Breathe in deeply and relax your stomach muscles. As you breathe out, draw your stomach inward, as though you’re trying to touch your belly button to the floor through your body. Hold for 3 to 10 counts, then release. Repeat 10 times.

Modified or Reverse Crunches
This is an advanced exercise. “Add it to your routine a few weeks after starting the previous exercises,” says Hilton. Lie on your back with your knees bent. Contract your abs to gradually curl your knees in toward your chest, and raise your hips and pelvis so your butt rises an inch or two from the floor. Repeat 10 times. Work up to doing three sets of 10 reps.